Well friends, I am officially 30 (or I will be by the time you are reading this) and if I am being completely honest, I am not really feeling the typical “sad” or “now I am old” feeling that I keep hearing about and anticipated. What I truly feel is excited, hopeful, and ready to take on the next decade that lay before me. With that, I figured it would be beneficial for both you and me to share 30 things I learned before turning 30, to kind of reflect and maybe shed some light on a different perspective of what turning 30 really feels like, for me at least. Here is my “30 things I learned before turning 30” list:

MY TOP 5

1. Find joy in the little things. It can be so easy to focus on the big picture, I get it. But actually slowing down long enough to “smell the roses” and find joy in the small things throughout the day has immensely changed my perspective on life, just in this past year.
2. You don’t need to share everything to social media. With social media the way it is these days, everyone shares EVERYTHING. I get it, social media is my job. What I have been focusing on for the past year or so is that keeping some things in my life private actually helps me protect my peace. While I do struggle with the whole “everything is content”, keeping things private is my way of escaping my job that already feels 24/7.
3. Communication really is key. I know this sounds so cliché, but it is true. Especially when it comes to marriage. Cody and I are often asked how we remain so close and so “fresh” in our relationship when we have been together nearly 10 years now. Our answer is always communication. We are in no way perfect, and I don’t want this to come across as stating such. But taking the time to actually hear your partner, listen to them voice their opinion or what pissed them off… and then talk through it instead of immediately fighting back, or giving the silent treatment can help avoid so much extra, unneeded conflict.

4. Pursue your passions. If I didn’t do this, I would not be here right now writing this post. I wouldn’t own a business, work for myself, and have a “job” that I actually love. Now, I am not saying everyone should quit their jobs, but there really is something in the whole “chase your dreams” saying. It can be a hobby, volunteer work, or a business. Whatever brings you joy and fulfills your life, do it, and don’t think twice about “what people may say or think”. At the end of the day, your happiness is all that matters.
5. Do not, I repeat, do not care what people think about you. This one piggy-backs off number 4. But honestly, people will always talk sh**. You could win a Nobel Prize and there will be someone in the audience talking about how you didn’t deserve it. All this really says is that they are jealous, sad and unhappy with their own life, or truly just a hater. Some people just really want to see you fail, and that’s okay. Disassociate yourself and move on. No time for the drama, mama!

6-10:

6. You don’t have to be perfect all the time. This one is quite comical coming from someone who is an enneagram 1, and honestly something I struggle with on the daily. But over the past year or so, I have learned that it is okay to not have the prettiest IG feed, create the most aesthetic content, and show up as 100%, 100% of the time. Now, I am not saying to slack off intentionally or set your standards lower. I am saying that if it is causing you added stress, then sometimes showing up at all- is enough.
7. Quality over quantity. This can relate to friendships, content you create, clothes you buy. But at the end of the day you will always be more satisfied with the quality over the quantity.
8. Apologize when you hurt someone you love, even if you think you did nothing wrong. We can all be stubborn, me especially. At the end of the day your pride isn’t worth hindering a relationship. So say your sorry, and make them know you really are. You may think you are right, but their feelings are valid as well and deserve to be acknowledged.
9. Listen more than you talk. This goes back to number 8 and number 3. In order to really hear them out, you must listen. There is no need to always be on defense or interrupt. I will admit, I am not always the best at this, but I try and will catch myself.
10. For the love of God, stop asking people when they are getting pregnant. I learned this one the hard way, as many of you know. What I thought growing up (I’m talking late teens/early twenties) was casual conversation, can actually be a very touchy subject to some. In fact, it can be a touchy subject to 1 in 8 women who struggle with infertility, or the 1 in 4 who have had a miscarriage. It wasn’t until Cody and I started dealing with our own fertility issues I came to realize just how sensitive that question could be, and the amount of pressure it puts on you when you already feel like a failure.

11-20

11. Forgive but don’t forget. In the words of Lauren Conrad, “I want to forgive you and I want to forget you”. Forgiveness brings peace of mind knowing that the burden has passed, it’s done, and you can move on. But, do not ever forget how they made you feel, what they did, and learn to be on guard so that it doesn’t happen again.
12. It’s okay to say “no”. This one took some time, but I think I finally got it down. I have always been a people pleaser, wanted to be included, wanted to always be the one you can count on. As I got older I realized I was putting my own peace at risk by saying “yes” to everything. Spreading myself too thin has been a habit of mine since day one, so this was a hard habit to break.
13. Happiness is in fact, a choice. Having a bad day? Choose to find joy. Don’t like that pic of yourself? Delete it, and move on. I am a firm believer in you are what you attract. So if you are only spewing out negative energy, then you can expect to get that in return. Choosing to find happiness will in turn let you receive it.
14. Sometimes you need to be selfish. This can be in the form of self care, self love, saying “no” like stated in number 12. You must put yourself first sometimes to truly be able to be there for others and be your best friend, wife, daughter, mother, etc. The closer I’ve gotten to turning 30 I have really made a conscious choice to spend more time on “self care” in whatever from that may look like.
15. It’s okay to fail. We can’t be successful at everything we set out to do. Failing one thing could open a door or dream you didn’t know you had. Or make you realize you actually don’t like doing that as much as you thought you would. Failure promotes growth.

16. Some people are lessons, and only meant to be around for a short period of time. You don’t have to have an abundance of life long friends. You don’t have to hold on to friendships or relationships that are ripping at the seams. Have peace knowing that you learned something, and move on.
17. Exercise can really change your life in more ways than one. Coming from someone who lost over 30lbs in 2020-2021, what started as working out to lose weight turned into working out to feel joy, feel peace and really challenge myself. Obviously a healthier life is the main goal, but you also get out so much more.
18. The worlds timeline is complete BS. The whole stigma around you need to have x, y and z done by the time you’re turning 30, and you need to own a house, and have at least 1-2 kids by now, and the college degree… it’s all complete BS. We all come from different backgrounds, and are all on different paths. And just because someone did follow all those steps doesn’t make them any better or less than you. That was their path, and yours is yours.
19. You cannot, and will not make everyone happy. It’s quite impossible to make everyone happy, so the sooner you stop trying the better.
20. Talk to yourself how you would talk to your daughter, or your younger self. This is coming from a woman’s perspective, obviously. But when you are looking in the mirror and want to say all the things you see that are wrong, take a minute and imagine you are saying those things to your little girl or your younger self. For every negative thing you were about to say, say 3 positive things.

21-30

21. Drink Lots of Water. It’s self explanatory, just do it!
22. Wear what you want, not what you think will fit in. This may be the “fashion blogger” in me, but when I started really wearing what I want, and expressing my own style, I became a lot more confident. Sometimes that makes me the most dressed up one in the room, but that’s okay, if people are staring, let them! That’s the point.
23. It’s never too late to start over. I spent my entire 20s feeling lost and unfulfilled. From waiting tables, to working in admin, to working in travel, to eventually working in oil and gas. It wasn’t until 2020 (when I was 27, that I finally decided to actually pursue my passion of working in fashion and social media. While I say I don’t have regrets, my only one would be that I didn’t start sooner.
24. If you don’t already, have a skincare routine. I was so naïve as a younger 20 something and thought just washing my face in the shower was enough…. LOL. If you don’t already have a good skincare regimen before turning 30, start now!
25. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to look chic. While I know I said earlier, quality over quantity.. that doesn’t mean I’m dropping bills every time I buy something to wear. I am a huge Amazon fan (if you follow along on socials you know this) I believe in spending more money on great basics, and it is totally fine to spend less on trendier items that will last a season or two.

26. Create a capsule wardrobe full of basics. Piggy packing off number 25, I will always preach “with a closet full of basics, you will always have something to wear!” And it’s true! If you need help, I have a blog post sharing “fall staple pieces” you can check out!
27. If you can, work out in the morning. This will set your tone for the day, and honestly you just get it over with sooner, LOL. Even if it is just going for a walk, do it!
28. Travel as much as you can. This one is newer to me, as I am just now in the point financially in my life where I can put money aside for traveling. Currently we are planning 2 trips, and it has me so excited to experience new things. I’m learning to say “you can make more money on Monday, but today I’m going to spend it seeing and experiencing as much as I can”
29. Making new friends as an adult is hard. It is, especially when you work from home, alone all day. All my new friends that I’ve made as an adult stem from someone sliding in someone’s DMs. It’s also hard to know how to navigate those friendships. Like dating, you worry about coming on too strong, not strong enough, are you being clingy.. all the things. What I’ve learned is just take it one step at a time and if it’s meant to be, it will be.
30. Life gets better with age. I always thought that turning 30 was the end. You know, you are out of your 20’s, you are an adult, all fun is over. That is NOT the case. I have actually had more genuine good days in my late 20’s and I can only imagine that my 30s will be the same, if not better. I have more confidence, more knowledge of the world and how things work, and the ability to just fully enjoy life as it is. It’s quite freeing.

Turning 30 may look different for every person. There are so many different paths of life that lead to you this exact moment. Wherever you are in your journey, just know that the path you are on is just as significant and worthy as someone else’s. You aren’t behind, you aren’t ahead or stuck in between. You are right where you are supposed to be.

Thank you so much for reading and please share with your friends who may be turning 30 soon too!